This event takes place on Crowdcast, Charis' virtual event platform. This event is free, but registration is required. Register here.
Charis welcomes Mel Cassidy in conversation with Alex Iantaffi for a discussion of Radical Relating: A Queer and Polyamory-Informed Guide to Love Beyond the Myth of Monogamy, a provocative, trauma-informed guide to post-monogamy—how to build liberated relationships rooted in empowerment, equity, and authenticity.
This book is for polyamorists who want to practice their non-monogamy with more feminism, more queerness, and more community building. It’s for monogamists who don’t want to do relationships on autopilot. It’s for everyone who dearly believes a better way to love and live exists. It’s for change makers who aspire to re-wild the ways we love.
An empowering guide to imagining (and living) better relationships, Radical Relating pushes back on the monogamy mandate. Author, somatic educator, and relationship coach Mel Cassidy explodes the often-unquestioned mainstream myths about the nuclear family structure: those that tell us your soulmate must be your sole mate. That sex is the only yardstick of relational success. That self-sacrifice and self-denial are necessary trade-offs for security and partnership. That we need to ride the relationship escalator all the way up, or we’ll die alone.
In four sections, Cassidy explains the why, what, how, and where of the Radical Relating model. They:
Lay out clear-eyed analysis about why monogamy isn’t working and explain the harms of unquestioned internalized mono-normativity
Offer Reflective Journaling prompts, Somatic Pauses, and practical wisdom for assembling your Relational Toolkit
Explain the trauma-informed pillars of Radical Relating: Orientation, Resilience, Resolution, and Engagement
Help you reorient to a new map for relating that’s queer, anarchist, and somatically integrated
Help you build skills to understand and navigate your relationship landscape
Explore the intersections of monogamy, colonialism, patriarchy, and capitalism and illuminate how monogamous relationship structures emerged with one goal in mind: to consolidate capital
Most books on non-monogamy focus on top-level logistics and play into beliefs that can inadvertently replicate oppressive structures. Radical Relating is different: it speaks to readers who want not only to open up their relationships or expand their sexual experiences, but claim a new and liberating ways to relate to each other, fulfill our authentic needs, and build true communities of care beyond monogamy.
About the Author
Mel Cassidy is a somatic relationship coach committed to the path of liberatory love and rewilding intimacy. They specialize in working with queer and questioning humans (and those who love them), exploring post-monogamous relationships with a focus on polyamory, solo polyamory, and relationship anarchy.
They are of Irish, Greek, and Khorakhane Romani descent and have lived in three countries across three continents. They currently live in British Columbia, Canada, and work with clients and students around the world. Radical Relating is their first book. Learn more about Mel and their work at https://radicalrelating.ca.
About the Conversation Partner
Alex Iantaffi, PhD, MS, SEP, CST, CST-S, LMFT (they/he/lui) is the author of award-winning book "Gender Trauma", co-author of "How to Understand Your Gender", “How to Understand Your Sexuality”, “How to Understand Your Relationships”, “Life Isn’t Binary”, and “Hell Yeah Self-Care: a Trauma-Informed Workbook”, and editor of the “Trans and Disabled” anthology. They’re also a cultural worker, family therapist, WPATH certified gender specialist, AASECT certified sex therapist, Somatic ExperiencingⓇ practitioner, clinical supervisor and mentor. Alex hosts the podcast Gender Stories and the YouTube series Warm Take Wednesdays with Dr Alex. When they are not working, writing, parenting, or organizing, Alex can be found reading, sitting by the lake, crafting, watching TV and movies, making music, reading tarot, cooking, dancing, doing ritual, and hanging out with their dogs. They love collaborating with others in service to the vision of a more liberated world for all of us.
The event is free and open to all people, but we encourage and appreciate a donation of $5-20 in support of the work of Charis Circle, our programming non-profit. Donate on Crowdcast or via our website: www.chariscircle.org/donate.