Full Moon issue #10
Hello wonderful people,
Please, as always, read on and feel free to hit reply to let me know what you think, or what you’d like me to reflect on in future issues. Even when I do not manage to reply, please know I read them all eventually. Your questions, comments, and, above all, YOU are always welcome here. Also, if you haven’t yet signed up for the upcoming book reading and celebration of Trans and Disabled: An Anthology of Identities & Experiences, on April 23rd please do so here! If you cannot buy the book, just send me an email, and I will send you the link. Nobody will be turned away for lack of funds! Also, asking your library (and local bookstores) to stock my books on their shelves is super helpful, thank you!
Here’s the agenda for what you will find in this email!
Reflection corner: searching for my inner compass in the midst of upheaval
Events and Projects
Let’s support each other: fundraisers and mutual aid requests
Some things I am exploring in my free time
Bonus cat pics from my home!
If you make it to the end of this newsletter, you can also see a couple of pictures of my new roommate Puffin, one of the cats who just moved into our household alongside another cat, my daughter and her boyfriend (only Puffin is in the pictures though)!
May this Full Moon help you honor your growth, care, and heart to prepare you for the magic that is still waiting inside of you, so you can bring your unique, essential medicine to the world. We need it and we need you. Take care & take courage dear hearts.
Reflection corner
Searching for my inner compass in the midst of upheaval
I wrote back in December about letting go in relation to changes in my life, including my decision to let go of the beloved group therapy practice I co-created with my colleague and queer family member, Mark Reese. One of the questions that has come up since, both within myself and from others, has been: what will you do next? I have been feeling the weight of this question in my bones, on my heart and mind. I have dreams, hope, and visions, but I have also been dealing with exhaustion, ongoing, complex health issues as I age with hEDS, and, well, the world at this moment (imagine me gesturing at, well, everything) plus trying to continue to show up as best as I can for my family, my kids, and communities. What am I doing? It’s a question I have been asking myself everyday this year. I have also been asking myself other questions... What does the world need right now? What do my communities need? How do I balance my needs and the needs around me? What is the medicine that is called for? What is the medicine I bring to the world? Am I bringing it as fully as I can or am I holding back? If I’m holding back, what am I keeping close to my heart and why? How do I rest while the world continues to be on fire? How can I still feel so much pleasure and joy in my life when others are suffering and when so many of us are so scared? Many of these questions are not new but I am approaching them from a different place because I too am changing and growing older.
I turned 54 years old last month. There are fewer years ahead of me than behind me so how do I want to spend the rest of my precious life now? And how much choice do I really have about how I spend my time under capitalism? So many questions... I guess I have always been someone who likes to go deep and come back to existential questions like this over and over. It’s as invigorating as it’s tiring, at times, but it’s also always clarifying. In the middle of my own existential wondering, life goes on. Bills still need to get paid, meals cooked, laundry washed... Children still need to be loved and cared for, and so do the animal companions I share space with, and the little land around my home that I am responsible for, and my own bodymind too... Friendships still need to be nurtured (although I’m not always stellar at this at times), commitments to supervisees and colleagues need to be kept, and community requires participation... The list could go on and on and this newsletter could become even more boring than it already is. Are you overwhelmed yet? I know I am, and we haven’t even mentioned the news yet, throwing more and more destructive executive orders in the direction of many communities I am part of, and many others that loved ones are members of. So much life, so much confusion, so much upheaval. How do I even find my inner compass right now? You may have been struggling with that too, maybe.
One thing I have learned though, in these 54 years of being alive, is that I do need to find my inner compass again in these moments of transition. In fact, it’s essential that I do so because otherwise, I’m just splashing around, trying not to drown and that it’s not a life, it’s survival. Don’t get me wrong, survival is essential! I wouldn’t be here without it, but I’m pretty sure that my ancestors want more for me, and for us all, than the bare minimum of a life, they want us to thrive. How can I keep fighting for liberation if everyday I tie myself up in knots of my own doing? Collective liberation cannot be achieved without internal liberation too. It often requires a change of inner frameworks. I’ve learned as much from all the brilliant Indigenous, Black, and Brown scholars and community organizers who have been generous with their words and wisdom. So I’ve been trying to slow down, to listen, to ground and to trust. The latter is always a challenge for me (because trauma) so believe me when I say that I know that none of this is easy! I’m starting to feel some glimmers of light and direction around the question of what I’m doing but I’m also noticing the patterns that keep me from listening to and trusting my inner compass. Maybe I’ll share some of those in future newsletters if y’all are interested but, for now, I want to share some of the things that have been helping me to find that inner compass again. The list below is not comprehensive but rather a highlight of some realizations and practices that have been supporting me during this time.
Giving myself space to be, not just do (I know, I know, it’s hard, really hard, (and too often a privilege) to do this under capitalism!).
Slowing down. I cannot say enough how much faster I can go when I slow down. I know that it’s a paradox but I keep learning this lesson over and over: the slower I go, the faster I get there.
Using my tools. For me these include: dance (especially authentic movement), meditation, creativity (for example, writing and cooking), ritual, divination, listening to music, having time alone, listening to ancestors, tuning into the ecosystem around me and within me.
Trusting my intuition (maybe the hardest one of all and yet one of the most important).
Checking in with loved and trusted ones in my life. We cannot do this work alone.
I’m sure I will have many more opportunities to search for my inner compass again and again. This is the work of a lifetime, at least for me. Yet, for now, I’m finding some peace, spaciousness, breath and possibilities. Synchronicities are happening, some dreams are coming true, and my creativity seems to be on fire and to move faster than my body can keep up with! So I keep slowing down, taking things one move at a time, breathing as deeply as my lungs will allow me on any given day, dwelling in gratitude and nurturing the relationships that sustain me. I don’t have all the answers yet, and I never will, and that’s ok because the questions themselves are a gift, and, on a good day, that’s enough.
events and projects
I wrote a blog post for AAMFT on why we need gender-affirming care now more than ever. You can read it here if you’re interested. AAMFT has also just announced that the systemic gender-affirming care guidelines I helped co-create with the rest of the editorial team and contributors will soon be released! Watch this space for a link to find them when they are out in the world.
My colleague and friend, Mel Cassidy, and I had a wonderful time doing an Instagram Live on Somatic Compersion! We had so much fun that we kept going after the live! You can find the full video of our conversation on my YouTube channel here.
As well as having a couple of books out this year, I also contributed to the wonderful book edited by my fellow magic practitioners and friends, Jane Meredith and Fio Gede Parma, Magic of the Pearl Pentacle. Reclaiming Love, Law, Wisdom, Liberty & Knowledge. I wrote an essay on gender liberation within the Reclaiming tradition.
I am honored to be one of the plenary keynote speakers at the upcoming AASECT conference. For the Engaging Diversity Plenary, I will be giving a talk entitled The Future (and Past) of Sexual Liberation Is Neuroqueer, Disabled, Mad, and Deviant. Hope to see some of you in Las Vegas! And if you’re local to Las Vegas and you’d like me to do a community event there, please let me know and I will do my best to make it happen!
Dr Sophia Graham and I have created a course on mapping your relationship ecosystem! Interested? I will email all newsletter subscribers with a discount code when it’s launched so watch this space! It’s pretty much ready but we are having some folks beta test it first!
I have also had the absolute delight to spend time in person with my new friend and colleague Dr Mackenzie Steiner and we will be bringing to our community a wonderful class called The Collective Alchemy of Gender Liberation. Watch this space for a link to our website soon!
Have you listened to the latest episode of my podcast Gender Stories? It’s a wonderful conversation with my writing partner, Dr MJ Barker, about our latest book. The episode is available wherever you listen to podcasts, including on YouTube! I want to be very intentional about how I use the podcast right now so episodes might trickle in a little slower than usual. Thank you for your patience and your ongoing support of my podcast, which is now 7 years old! Doesn’t time fly?! Want me to speak about a particular topic on the podcast, please let me know!
I am in the ongoing process of mapping out my commitments for the rest of 2025 & 2026, so if you want to collaborate or bring me to your community, please let me know! I will be around the west coast of the so-called US in the Summer and on the east coast in the Fall, all being well.
Would you like me to do an event at your local, independent bookstore or hire me to speak somewhere? Please contact me directly for bookstore events or media queries, hire me throughthis speakers bureau, or check out my website for more information on speaking engagements:alexiantaffi.com Thanks!
Let’s support each other!
Remember: we keep each other safe, healthy and creative!
My beloved friend Billy Navarro Jr is facing some hefty medical bills and has a fundraiser going to meet them. He’s one of the most generous people I know and gives so much to the community, especially children and young people. I hope we can show up for Billy as he keeps showing up for everyone around them everyday! Let’s bring the community love friends and help this fundraiser reach the goal as soon as possible!
A project that I hope many of you will contribute to is the recently launched Project Rainbow Turtle, an Indigenous LGBTQ+ centered Mutual Aid Fund and Network.
If you feel moved to donate to trans-led organizations, given the ongoing rise of anti-trans rhetoric and legislation, check out the Transgender Law Center, which has several, amazing projects going, including an Action for Transformation Fund, as well as the Trans Justice Funding Project, which supports trans-led grassroots efforts in the so-called United States and US Territories.
Please let me know if there is a fundraiser, either personal or for an organization, that you would like me to lift up in this section! Thanks!
Some things I am exploring in my free time
Please note that none of these links are sponsored. If I ever advertise something as an affiliate, I will make it very clear! Thanks!
I took the most amazing writing class on Main Character Energy with the incomparable Gabby Rivera and I feel so inspired! I also got so much writing done! I cannot wait to share the project I worked on in that class with all of you in due course! All I want to do is write at the moment!
I’ve been relaxing to the TV series The Wheel of Time and I’m loving it so far! The queerness is so easily woven into the world building, which I really appreciate, and it has been a beautiful way to unwind in the evening.
I’m currently reading Arsenic and Adobo by Mia P. Manansala and I love it so far! I had the pleasure of meeting Mia a few years ago at Wiscon and I’m so glad I finally got to pick her book off my shelves and read it! If you’re a fan of cooking murder mysteries, this is for you!
If you made it this far, thank you! I hope you have found this interesting, useful or enjoyable in some way. If so, feel free to pass this on to a friend or, better yet, pass on the link to subscribe directly! Thank you for being here!
And here is Puffin, one of our four beloved animal companions, featured below, as promised!
[ID: A close-up of Puffin. They are an orange and white cat with blue eyes. Puffin is seated and looking at the camera with the rest of the room behind them. There are various pieces of art hung on the walls behind Puffin.]
Make it stand out
[ID: Puffin is curled up, sleeping on a blue comforter on a bed.]
Let’s keep opening our hearts to one another (with consent and when it’s safe enough to do so) and transform our perspectives together!
Alex